Parental Involvement in Sports

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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby Hinsa » Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:49 pm

Bingo on #2 - everyone thinks they know basketball. Everyone thinks they know what the rules are. Everyone sits very close to the action. Bad combo....
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby luvmy3gbb1wr » Thu Mar 06, 2008 5:25 pm

I have cousins in the Central Cass school district........my parents won't sit by my aunt and uncle and my oldest cousin is married with kids and she and her husband were almost banned from the gym b/c of their behaviour. Fun, huh.......gotta love that competitive spirit........
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby demon_fan14 » Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:26 pm

worst thing ever is when old peeps sit in student sections
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby ClassBEast » Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:53 am

luvmy3gbb1wr wrote:I have cousins in the Central Cass school district........my parents won't sit by my aunt and uncle and my oldest cousin is married with kids and she and her husband were almost banned from the gym b/c of their behaviour. Fun, huh.......gotta love that competitive spirit........


Funny. I bet I could guess who that is. Does every town have a set of parents/fans that are usually sitting by themselves because no one wants to sit near them??
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby tellmeaboutit » Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:34 pm

My mother wouldn't sit with my father. He was so obnoxious! I love him, but I wouldn't have sat with him either.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby champ24 » Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:54 am

Interesting discussion. Our school also has the 24 hour "cooling" off period, and the "no discussion of playing time" rule. Neither are enforced. During the season, I was getting my 7 month old down to sleep about 10:00 and phone rings. Parent wanting to discuss playing time. I asked "do you know what time it is?" there response? "its not too late is it?" It took all the patience I had not to totally unload. Needless to say, the girl quit about a week later. This was halfway through the season. I agree with one of the previous posts. Most everyone has played either organized BB or pick up BB at some point. FB and Volleyball are a little different. Now, let me throw one other little tidbit. Those parents who coach Outlaw BB and think they are geniuses because they can go undefeated in an Outlaw season. I've talked with about a half dozen other coaches who agree that Outlaw BB is totally bringing H.S. BB down. But that is another topic for another day.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby baseball » Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:13 am

ClassBEast wrote:
luvmy3gbb1wr wrote:I have cousins in the Central Cass school district........my parents won't sit by my aunt and uncle and my oldest cousin is married with kids and she and her husband were almost banned from the gym b/c of their behaviour. Fun, huh.......gotta love that competitive spirit........


Funny. I bet I could guess who that is. Does every town have a set of parents/fans that are usually sitting by themselves because no one wants to sit near them??


when i go to my old high school for games theres one guy no one really wants to sit by. not that hes always screaming at the refs but just how he acts. he brings his own radio and microphone and broadcasts the games himself and hes had the same bag that he putts popcorn in for like 7 years.....
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby BB11 » Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:26 pm

WHAT?? That sounds a little odd
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby paperboy » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:19 pm

I personally know of a father of a basketball player that got onto an "annonymous" blog site for the team and made demeaning and derogatory remarks about a few of his own son's teammates! Talk about childish...I can almost understand it coming from a high school kid, but this was a so called grown-up! And, it caused some conflict on the team as no one knew who was making the comments...all the kids were speculating as to who would make these critical remarks, thinking it may be one of their teammates. Very disturbing.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby asiantangy99 » Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:36 pm

ndlionsfan wrote:
oneshot wrote:It seems to me that jealousy among parents is the driving force behind in-appropriate behavior...I am not a parent, but a high school sports fan...I try to be as objective as possible, and i see parents(especially dads) trying to live vicariously through their children...maybe to make up for their own in-adequacies back when they played, maybe because they can sit down at the coffee shop and stick out their chest a little farther than the next parent...whatever the reason, parents need to realize that high school sports, while important for developing teamwork and leadership skills, are still a game...Parents that interfere with kids' extra-curricular activities are not teaching them how to handle difficult situations they will face later in life...these kids are on the verge of adulthood, 95% of them will probably never play organized sports again after they graduate...Is it really worth badgering a coach, ref, or another parent over a h.s. game? I think not.


You hit the nail on the head there!!

ya i agree sometimes parents just get in the way actually i should say alot of the times. I think they should just sit and watch the game, cheer if they want and keep thier rude comments to themselves.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby ND_Coach » Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:29 pm

with fans at any sporting event I like the adage: "Its like church, many attend, few understand"
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby ndfan » Fri Apr 18, 2008 6:24 pm

ND_Coach wrote:with fans at any sporting event I like the adage: "Its like church, many attend, few understand"


Great quote, I love it. SO the truth.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby Eminence » Tue Apr 22, 2008 4:00 pm

You also can have the other side of the coin. The parent who has no involvement and their child does not play on any traveling team. They do not put forth any effort to teach their child the sport. Then is upset when their child doesn't excel as does not make the team. Today's sports is year round
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby philshometown » Sat Apr 26, 2008 3:55 pm

BAD TREND: Parents Taking Coaches to Court Over Playing Time, Lost Recruiting Opportunities
By Kimberly Epps, The Washington Post
06/06/2003

NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. -- J.D. Martinez pitched 50 innings during his junior year for Corona del Mar High School. On that, everyone can agree. But beyond that, things get nasty.

Coach John Emme said 50 innings was about average for a three-month season but cautioned Martinez that he was throwing too hard and that he'd bench him if he didn't take it easier. Martinez's father, Marc, argued that it was Emme who pushing his son to throw too much, harming his chances at being recruited by a college team.

Martinez yanked his son off the team before J.D.'s senior year and out of Emme's baseball class. The team went on to the league championship without J.D.

And then came the lawsuits.

Martinez sued Emme, alleging the coach damaged his son's scholarship chances. A judge threw out that suit. Then Martinez sued Emme again, accusing him of embarrassing J.D. with statements Emme made to a local newspaper. A judge threw out that suit as well. Then Emme sued Martinez, seeking $1 million for damage to his reputation.

There was a time when disputes between coaches and the parents of their players were confined to the sidelines. Now, increasingly, they're winding up in the courthouse.

Parents and players sue coaches over being cut from a team or not getting enough playing time. Thousands of these "disappointment lawsuits" are threatened each year, experts said, and dozens actually end up before a judge.

"We adults are taking the fun out of sports," said Tim Flannery, assistant director of the National Federation of State High School Associations. "This is not a professional team. It's about providing an extracurricular program where kids can learn something they can't learn in the classroom."

Three years ago, the federation recommended for the first time that coaches carry three times the amount of liability insurance that their school provides, just in case.

With 22,000 high schools and 800,000 interscholastic coaches across the country, the numbers of lawsuits may not be staggering. What is disturbing, sports law specialists say, is that these lawsuits are filed in the first place. An increasingly litigious society and a sense of entitlement by parents who expect something for all the time and money they invested in team travel and year-round competition have sparked the trend in the past 10 years.

Martinez said he had no choice but to go to court, having exhausted all other remedies, including going through a months-long school district complaint process. He plans to appeal the dismissal of his second suit.

"All I want is for Coach Emme to acknowledge that he overpitched some pitchers and correct the statements he made to some college coaches about J.D.," Martinez said. "Yes, it is a small thing when you look at all the people dying in Iraq, but if I didn't do anything, he's gotten away with what he did, and that's not right either."

Few of these lawsuits are successful, said Herb Appenzeller, editor of From the Gym to the Jury, a newsletter that follows sports risk-management issues. But parents keep filing them anyway.

In Levittown, Pa., a high school softball player sued her coach for $700,000 for teaching her an illegal pitching technique, alleging the move damaged her scholarship prospects.

Last April, the girls' varsity soccer coach at Millard North High School in Omaha resigned after being threatened with a lawsuit by parents who were bringing stopwatches to games to keep track of playing time.

In 2001, Lynn Rubin sued the New Haven Unified School District in Union City, Calif., because his son, Jawaan, was bumped down to junior varsity after he tried out for the varsity. Rubin alleged that the coach was playing favorites by not putting his son on the team. Rubin sought the coach's dismissal and $1.5 million for Jawaan's future professional worth.

Times have changed, Rubin said, noting the increase in off-season play and ranking and recruiting of younger and younger players.

"You have a lot of coaches who don't want to get with the way things are," he said. "It's wrong for us as a school district to not put the best kids out there. Why would Oregon and Pepperdine and all these people be contacting him if he can't even make varsity?"

The lawsuit was dismissed, but Rubin said it was worth the controversy, because complaints are now taken seriously by the school district. Jawaan will transfer to a new high school in the fall.

Intensely involved parents are nothing new in sports. But the emergence and earning power of young phenoms such as Tiger Woods and Venus and Serena Williams, who were pushed by their parents to succeed, and Ohio high school basketball standout LeBron James, who raised the bar for players everywhere, have forced a shift in focus at the high school level. Decisions made on the high school field today could have an impact on an athlete's professional career, parents say.

"They're expected to be the next Kobe Bryant or whoever. But the percentage [at that skill level] is so minuscule that it's not even worth mentioning," said Wayne Carney, past president of the National High School Athletic Coaches Association.

But there is some method to the madness, said Robert Jarvis, a professor of sports law at Nova Southeastern University.

"If you figure out early on that your child is not the next Einstein, it makes a lot of fiscal sense to encourage your child to develop their athletic ability to the best they can," Jarvis said. "There are 1,600 colleges out there and most of them give some kind of scholarship."

The lawsuits come at a price, costing already cash-strapped school districts thousands of dollars to defend their coaches. Newport-Mesa Unified School District spent $17,000 on Emme's defense. Three years ago, the high schools federation began to recommend that coaches carry a minimum of $3 million in insurance, compared with the $1 million provided by schools, in response to an increased number of lawsuits. Coaches can get an additional $1 million of coverage from the federation if they complete its coaching education program, and state coaching associations provide additional coverage to their members for a couple of dollars a year.

Nick Schroeder, director of physical education and athletics for the Smithtown School District on Long Island, requires every athlete to bring a "caring adult" to a preseason seminar that lays out expectations for athletes and parents. The meetings, which have been mandated for the past decade, have made parent complaints almost nonexistent, Schroeder said.

Emme now carries his lawyer's business card, worn and creased, in his wallet.

"After what I've gone through, every parent I talk to, I wonder is this going to be another one," Emme said. "You walk around with suspicion and doubt when I never had that before."

Emme is not alone. Coaches across the country are wondering if their love for the game is worth the low salaries and enormous time commitment of coaching, especially if getting dragged into court is a possibility. Some states are struggling to recruit and retain qualified coaches. Nationally, 20 percent of coaches quit every year. The idea of a lifelong coach may be soon be the exception rather than the rule, Appenzeller said.

In 1998 in Texas, the parents of Cypress Falls High School athlete Kyle Rutherford sued his baseball and football coaches when he was benched for the last game of his senior year. The benching came after he blamed the football coach's losing record for costing him a scholarship.

In dismissing the suit, federal Judge John Rainey wrote, "[T]he courts should not get involved in second-guessing a coach's decision to play one person over another. Federal judges issue opinions and orders, not starting lineups."
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby philshometown » Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:02 pm

Follow Up
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Coach awarded $500,000 in damages
The Corona del Mar High baseball coach sued a former player's father, saying the man hurt his reputation.
By RACHANEE SRISAVASDI
The Orange County Register

SANTA ANA – A Corona del Mar High School baseball coach suing the father of a former player was awarded $500,000 in damages this morning, and may get hundreds of thousands more in punitive damages at a hearing later today.

John Emme, an English teacher and varsity baseball coach, filed a defamation and malicious prosecution lawsuit against Marc Martinez, an emergency room doctor who pulled his son J.D. off the coach's team in 2001.

Martinez, who lives in Newport Coast, filed two lawsuits against Emme, both of which were dismissed. Emme counter-sued, alleging Martinez's legal action and statements in media coverage of their conflict hurt his reputation as a coach.

This morning, an Orange County Superior Court jury determined Martinez acted with "oppression, malice, despicable conduct," making the case eligible for punitive damages.

The jury will consider awarding punitive damages at a 1:30 p.m. hearing.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby baseball » Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:12 pm

did i misunderstand the first article or did the Martinez guy compare the coach over pitching his son to the war in Iraq????
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby cubsfan » Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:48 pm

I think it is totally ridiculous that a parent sues a coach over playing time. If they have that few worries in life that they have to worry about that, well then they must have a pretty simple life.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby rep » Sun Apr 27, 2008 11:12 am

that is the world we live in. everyone is trying to screw over the next guy for money/popularity/peace of mind. it is stupid and ugly, but at the same time, this bad dream is now reality.

i'm surprised newspapers aren't sued for damaging a kids' shot at a scholarship when they print he/she isn't the single greatest player to step on a respective sports' court. i'm surprised schools aren't sued every time a player skins a knee, in effect damaging potential draft status. everytime someone gets hurt playing a sport in high school, i'm amazed that they don't get their college education taken care of in a lawsuit.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby gfballer09 » Thu May 08, 2008 1:42 pm

Every coach that I have known has the best interest at heart for his or her players and teams. Some parents think that all coaches try to do is hurt their child emotionally. Most coaches in this state get paid very little, they do it for the love of the game and for a chance to see student-athletes succeed. When will parents realize that not every one is put on this earth to be an athlete. Maybe, just maybe, your child isn't as good as you think they are.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby philshometown » Thu May 08, 2008 5:22 pm

Every coach that I have known has the best interest at heart for his or her players and teams. Some parents think that all coaches try to do is hurt their child emotionally. Most coaches in this state get paid very little, they do it for the love of the game and for a chance to see student-athletes succeed. When will parents realize that not every one is put on this earth to be an athlete. Maybe, just maybe, your child isn't as good as you think they are.


You are so right!
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby philshometown » Fri Aug 15, 2008 8:45 am

I have been a high school athlete, a coach and now a parent. Sean Pitman, in his final sports column for the Williston Herald, said it very well:

My soap box

Now, before I go, I have to get on my soap box for a minute. I hope it's a sturdy one.

Anyway, it seems these days that coaches are under an unnecessary amount of scrutiny, especially at the junior high and high school level.

Since when did the players dictate what went on in any athletic program? From my experience, it's always been the coach who was in charge and was not questioned.

It is getting harder and harder to find coaches to direct the kids, and that's probably because they just don't want to deal with the pressure from fans, parents and their own players.

Remember, this is high school, or even junior high, and winning isn't everything. Don't get me wrong, I like winning, but even winning coaches are under fire across the country because they don't win the "big one" every year or they aren't catering to the kids.

That's not what sports at this level is about. It's about competing and giving it your best.

It's about dealing with adversity and working through troubles, while getting along with those around in the same boat.

Now parents, I know I'm stepping on some toes here, but if the team isn't succeeding to your expectations, you may want to look in the mirror.

I think it's great to get behind and support your kids, but if you're kid is complaining about how much they run in practice or how the coach does things, are you right there with him or her?

If so, you are only empowering him or her to be a detractor from the team concept. You should be encouraging your kid to buy into the coach's philosophy and do whatever he or she can to make the team better.

Instead of bad mouthing the coach or other players, is your kid doing his or her part?

Coaches have systems and they're in place to make the team better, but if players don't buy into the system, it will never succeed the way it was meant.

Now if your kid is being abused in any way, by all means talk to the coach, because coaches, too, have a responsibility to their players to treat them with respect.

Even if you don't agree with the coach, you can talk to him, but do it just once. Let your opinion be aired, and then from there show your support.

The coach may or may not take to heart your advice or criticism.

Coaches should be people that kids can look up to, not whipping posts for sour fans, parents or players.

Parents and fans should also realized there's a lot more distractions out there for kids today than when they were in school. A lot of the team unity that was once taken for granted may be missing from some of today's teams.

Well, that's my final thought for you.

Get out and support your team. All the way.

Sean Pitman | sports@willistonherald.com
In basketball -- as in life -- true joy comes from being fully present in each and every moment, not just when things are going your way.

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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby BBAngel » Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:19 pm

I agree with all of you. It's really sad to see parents who can't be civil to one another because of jealousy and pride.
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby vballfan06 » Mon Sep 15, 2008 9:33 pm

One of my best friends coaches volleyball on the eastern side of the state. This town is known for its parents, however, I don't think the poor guy had a clue what he was getting into. It seems like every time I talk to him, the parental complaints just get more and more outrageous....it's playing time, how many compliments he's given other players compared to their daughter, which JV kid got to come in and serve in the varsity match, the color of warm shirts they got, too much yelling, too much running in practice, it's like it's neverending. A young guy who's had a lot of success at other schools---yet, sounds like he's going to hang it up after this year.
It's a sad thing, but this is why no young teachers want to coach....
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby cornerback*22* » Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:59 pm

i hate when their kid who they have raised to become a stud just s.ucks it up on the court then the kids parents are whining and crying because they dont play, the object in varsity sports isnt to have equal playing time or start seniors, its to win games, so they should just accept that their kid isnt good and live with it
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Re: Parental Involvement in Sports

Postby BBAngel » Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:28 am

Everything you talk about in this post seems to be getting worse with each year. It's not only bad for the kids not learning how to be accountable, but seeing the parents who decide not to speak to another parent because their kid is better is absolutely infantile. At Central last year a 1st year coach almost lost his job because he played the girls who worked the hardest and had talent regardless of age.

High School sports are a challenge when you have some athletes who are trying to get to the next level with the support of their parents, and then you have some whose perspective is this is an elevated level of intramurals. I do not think there is a right or wrong answer. Parents need to be supportive of all the kids on the team and encourage each and every one of them. Some of the best athletes have the worst seasons because they cannot play together or they have their parents yelling at them from the stands or after they come home. I think there should be rules stating that unless some true form of abuse can be proven coaches and athletic directors should be off limits.

These coaches are not paid enough to warrant some of the verbal accusations and treatment they receive. I would love to see some of the parents who are complaining to observe a practice without their kids knowing so they can see how their kid is or is not performing and how they carry themselves and treat others when the parents are not around. I bet some eyes would open!
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